Lives They Didn't Live
by y3lhsa
Summary: Repost with a new chapter.  Sam deals with the new O'Neill and her very different life.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Lives They Didn't Live

**Rating:** PG 13

**Author: ** Y3lhsa

**Summary:** Jack learns more about the strangers who landed in his lap.

**Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Chapter 1

Sam jumped off the bed when the door opened and she saw Daniel escorted in. "Daniel! What's going on?"

"Hey Sam. They finally decided to let us see each other. I guess they figured we were already telling the same story, what more can we come up with." Daniel wrapped his arms around Sam and together they sat on the end of the bed. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know, this is so bizarre. Even for us, you know?" Sam pulled her leg up onto the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around it. Resting her head on her knee she looked at Daniel. "I'm not sure what to think, I mean, I know what must have happened but... the enormity of it all just hasn't settled yet."

"It's amazing how much the discovery, or in this case the lack of discovery of the Stargate drastically changed our lives. You actually joined NASA and Charlie being alive, it's so strange."

"I've been thinking, Baal must have used some sort of temporal device to predict a solar flare and go back in time to destroy the Stargate. I can only assume something went wrong and instead he only managed to sink the ship in the Arctic. If we can find that device I should be able to use it to find a way back and stop Baal from sinking it. If we do that, then everything should happen exactly the way it should have and everything will go back to the way it was. We'll continue with the ceremony and never know any of this happened."

Daniel shook his head, "That's only if they allow us to search for it. They don't seem particularly inclined to even believe us at this point much less allow us to use the Stargate to change everything they've ever known. We have to face the possibility that we may be stuck here for the indefinite future. I don't know what they'll do with us but hopefully they'll give us some chance of helping when the time comes. You have to figure that since Teal'c, Vala and the rest of the Tok'ra disappeared, everything we did to help destroy the system lords didn't happen. Remember what Baal said about making Teal'c first prime and keeping Qe'tesh as his queen?" Sam shrugged. "He probably did just that and is waiting for the right time to strike back at us. He can't know that we made it through to the current timeline."

Sam stood up and started pacing around the room, "What if we're stuck here Daniel? What are we going to do? I'm supposed to be dead. Jack doesn't even know me here and I know that sounds extremely selfish of me but every time I close my eyes I see him lying on the ground, dying. And yet here he is, alive and living uaware of anything we've been through these past eleven years."

"It's not selfish Sam, our world has been turned upside down. I can't imagine a reality that doesn't have the Stargate and SG-1 complete with Teal'c and Jack. He reminded me of the Jack I first met twelve years ago before we went to Abydos. I'm sorry Sam, I know things have changed between you two. If I wasn't so excited myself about seeing you when you got back from Atlantis, I would have lost all patience with him the last few weeks. You were all he could talk about, coming back for a visit and a long overdue vacation. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that it's ok to feel lost and to grieve. We all are."

Sam circled round to the bed again and sat down, suddenly exhausted. "I feel so numb and yet there is this great big whole inside. You remember when Dr. Carter came through the mirror? She told me that as much as it hurt when he died, somehow having him here still alive made it hurt a little less. I never understood what she meant... until now. I never wanted to know what she meant and now that I do it isn't the same. He knew me, that's what she was grateful for. Here, I'm a stranger to him. He doesn't even want to know me. I'm grateful that he still has Charlie but when he looks at me all he sees is a dead astronaut. A woman he never knew and will never know." Sam leaned into Daniel. She pulled her dogtags out from beneath her shirt and Daniel spied the silver ring also hanging from around her neck. "We exchanged these after the death of my father." She unhooked the ring and handed it to Daniel. It was a plain silver band that, when he looked inside, was inscribed with the word 'Always'. "His says the same thing. We've always been there for each other and we promised we would continue to be. It was a silent promise we made to each other every time we got captured or one of us got lost. After I broke it off with Pete and Kerry left him, we also promised that it wouldn't matter what we had to do, we would no longer be content to live our lives seperately. I miss him so much Daniel."

"I know Sam, me too. Knowing Teal'c and Vala are out there is somehow easier than coming face to face with a Jack who doesn't know and doesn't want to know us."

The sound of the door opening interrupted anything else he was about to say. Colonel O'Neill stuck his head around the door. "Dr. Jackson, a word?"

Sam averted her gaze the moment she realized who had entered and was now looking at the floor pulling her leg up once more. Daniel nodded at the Colonel and whispered "I'll try to come back tomorrow." to Sam, rubbing her arm.

\\\\\\\

Following Jack out of the room and down the corridor back to his quarters, Daniel pondered how he was going to phrase his request so that Jack would hopefully comply. After they had entered Daniel's room and closed the door, Jack turned to him raising his eyebrow in a silent request for an explanation.

"I know you don't believe us. We've given you no reason to, but I need to ask anyway. I know this won't be easy to hear and you most likely won't believe this either, but Sam is my friend and I want to help her."

Holding up his hand, O'Neill asked, "What could I possibly do to help, I don't even know her! Before today, the only time I'd ever seen her was in the news when her shuttle went down. Considering the amount of information you guys know, I almost believe the alternate timeline thing but that doesn't mean I have to do anything you want me to. Just because you say you knew me in some crazy other world."

"I understand that and I wouldn't be asking you for anything. Except this isn't about me, or even you for that matter. It's about him. _Our_ Jack. The man I spent seven years fighting beside. The one who has been married to one of my best friends for the last three. You may not care about him, but we do and we just saw him die! I just... please just talk to her. Help her through this. I know it's alot to ask but if you could just talk to her, listen."

"Wait, wait. Are you telling me that in that other... whatever, I was married to Samantha Carter? I thought we worked together? Both in the Air Force? I don't care what timeline, I would never break those rules. Up til a few years ago, I was still married, so forgive me if I don't believe that bit of nonsense." As he turned around to leave Daniel hurridly spoke.

"Please just listen and I'll explain. If you want to leave afterwards I won't stop you, but please just listen." The Colonel paused and turning around waved for Daniel to go on.

"The reason you were chosen to go to Abydos with me twelve years ago was because your son HAD shot himself. It was a suicide mission, no one expected any one of us to come back. You didn't want to, you would have been just as happy dying on that planet. However, when we got there we discovered that the people there were being kept as slaves serving a false god. You helped us free them and kill Ra. I stayed behind and married a local woman, Share. When you came back, you lied, you said we had all been destroyed by the bomb. Sara had already moved out by the time you got back and you two got divorced a year later. When another false god came through our stargate and kidnapped one of our female soldiers you had to tell the truth. You came back to Abydos with the original members of the team as well as Sam. Share and her brother Skaara were kidnapped while you were there. Sam and I figured out how to get the Stargate to go to several different planets and the Stargate Program was reassembled. You, me, Sam and a Jaffa named Teal'c who _you_ convinced to betray his god and join us, formed SG-1. For the next seven and a half years we fought side by side, killing Goa'ulds, forming alliances and protecting whoever we could. Somewhere along the way, you and Sam... you developed feelings. You never said anything, nor did you act on them. When General Hammond was promoted to run Homeworld Securities, you were made General and head of the SGC. Sam, Teal'c and I continued as SG-1. After a year or so, General Hammond retired and they made you head of Homeworld Securities. Sam left to run R&D in Nevada, I was supposed to go to Atlantis and Teal'c left to help with the newly formed Free Jaffa Nation. Of course I missed my flight and Sam and Teal'c ended up coming back to the SGC to help fight the Ori, but that's not important. While Sam was in Nevada and you had just moved to Washington, you two got married. You figured there wouldn't be a better time to make it legal than before one of you had to leave or something else came up. You guys haven't seen much of each other the past eight months because Sam has been in the Pegasus Galaxy on Atlantis. She was supposed to come back only long enough to attend the extraction ceremony of the last Baal, but the IOA decided to replace her. You had a couple days together before he was called back to Washington for some last minute meetings, then he met us at the ceremony. The Baal clone told us that the real Baal had set up a contingency plan for when the last clone was killed and apparently this was it. Only before the world remade itself Jack was killed and we barely made it through the Gate as the last changes were made. And here we are, alone in a world we don't belong in, with people who don't know us." During his speech Daniel was trying to gauge Jack's reaction but was still surprised when Jack nodded and opened the door.

"I'll think about it, but I'm not promising anything. By the way, where were we gonna vacation?" Jack stood half in the room and half in the corridor.

Daniel looked confused, "You always went to the cabin. Why?"

"Just checking."

\\\\\\\

Jack thought about what Daniel told him most of the day before deciding to talk to Sam. The Pentagon had already established that there was a Daniel Jackson indeed living in Egypt, so the fact that there was another was astonishing. No one had ever heard of a Colonel Cam Mitchell in the U.S. Air Force and yet here he was, metal in his leg and knowledge of aircraft and metal rings previously unknown. The fact that Samantha Carter had quite publicly gone down in a NASA shuttle and showed up four years later with said men gave him pause. However, all of that didn't mean anything. No, what had caught his attention and kept it was the fact that his son had in fact been playing with his service pistol twelve years ago. The only reason he was still alive being that Jack had gotten home early that day. He and Sara had been fighting and he wanted to make up with her. When he searched the house and found Charlie with his pistol pointed at his head, he only just stopped Charlie from pulling the trigger. He had thought it was a toy to make up for the one his father had taken away from him.

Shaking away the memory, Jack stopped at Sam's door and knocked. Receiving no answer he opened the door to see Sam Carter sleeping. Taking a chance, he continued inside and pulled up a chair beside the bed. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was curled up in a ball with her arms around her pillow. He sat there for a while, his eyes tracing her delicate features. He felt a pull, just like he had when he realized out on the ice who she was. He didn't believe in ghosts and yet, when he looked at her it was as if it wasn't the first time. There was a physical pang that irritated and confused him. Before he could analyse it any further she suddenly pushed herself up and scanned the room, stopping when her gaze landed on him. He held his hands out in front of him and waited for her to calm down. He expected her to back away and demand to know why he was there. Instead she climbed out of the bed and landed in his lap, gripping his shirt in her hands and sobbing into his chest. After a few seconds he laid his hands on her back and comforted her like he had Charlie when he was little.

"You weren't there, I looked for you everywhere but I couldn't find you." She had calmed down but it was obvious she still wasn't fully aware of where she was. "Maybourne took you and I couldn't find you anywhere. I searched the entire moon, but you weren't there. I didn't know where else to look, you promised, you promised you would never leave me again. Where did you go?" She sounded so heartbroken Jack felt an answering pull. He'd never heard someone so desolate and it was disconcerting to realize she was mistaking him for him. He wondered if the man she was grieving ever realized just how much she loved him. The possibility of someone loving _him_ like this was shocking and it unnerved him to know that he would never receive that kind of longing or feel it.

Her voice sounded more secure this time, "Where are we, why are we on base? No, no this isn't right, this isn't real." She jumped off his lap and this time backed up until her back hit the opposite wall. Her eyes were so full of shock and pain, he thought he would fall right in and never crawl his way out again.

"I'm sorry, you grabbed me and I didn't want to wake you in the middle of a nightmare." Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and swore to himself when she flinched.

She drew herself up and into herself. "What are you doing here? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, us?"

"Thought you might need someone to talk to. Daniel seemed to think it should be me." Sam rolled her eyes at this. "He made a convincing argument... does he always go on like that?" Jack pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

For the first time since he first met her, Sam broke out in grin. "Yeah, drives you nuts. Only because most of the time he's right." As she realized that he wasn't who he was supposed to be, the smile fell from her face and Jack was sorry to see it go. "I'm sorry, I know you're not him. You just look exactly like him."

"Help me out here, I might be beginning to believe that you came from a different timeline but it still doesn't track that someone like you married me. What's with that?"

Sam's eyes roamed his face as she slowly made her way back to the bed. As she sat down she began, "It wasn't sudden Jack. I didn't even realize how I felt until you went missing on Edora." Jack quirked his eyebrow, "We had been visiting a planet that passed a nearby astroid belt the same time every year. However while we were there, we discovered that every 150 years the planet passed close enough that the meteors passed through the atmosphere and rained down on the planet. You had gone to rescue some kids who decided to hide out in the caves until it passed and right before Teal'c and I went through the Stargate a meteor smashed into the ground in front of the Stargate burying it under dirt and rocks. It had also hardened the naquada above the event horizon..."

Jack threw his hands up, "I got you up til you start with the Stargate and naq stuff."

Suppressing a smile, Sam continued. "Basically there was no way to get the Stargate open again until I built a machine able to break the barrier between the dirt and the Stargate. It took me three months to get the machine operational and while I hadn't given up, you didn't think you were going to be able to come home. You got close to a woman there, Laira." Sam's glance bounced around the room before landing on Jack again. "That's when I realized that you meant more to me than you were supposed to. We had been working together for almost three years by then and we all got close, but..."

"Military personnel aren't supposed to get that close." Jack finished. Sam nodded. "Did I know, I mean him, did he know?"

"Not then, he started to suspect though. Alot happened over the next few weeks. I realized it was the same for him when he got drafted into a black op mission... something he said. It was easy to not talk about it and it didn't get in the way of what we had to do." Jack was blindsided when she suddenly smiled at him. "We got stuck on a planet weeks later, Teal'c was with us and all we did for a week and a half was fish and talk. We walked all over that place, waiting to go home. Most of the time we just walked, not talking. Other times we stayed up all night talking, teaching Teal'c a few games and some of your more colorful jokes. When we got home, we went back to the way things were."

"Did either of you consider transfering to a different team?"

Sam shook her head, "I didn't, no. We worked well together, really well. We were best friends as well as teammates. We each knew what to we had to do in certain situations. We also knew what the other was going to do. I'm the Stargate expert, I know more about the Stargate than anyone else. If we got stuck off-world, I could get us home. I'm also a soldier and when Daniel and Jack came at a situation from different sides, Teal'c and I mediated. Teal'c knew the enemy, Daniel translated and communicated with natives we came across. Jack was our leader. Sometimes it got dicy but we were a team, a family. Even when it was just me, Daniel and Teal'c, he was there. I knew what he would do in every situation we came across. He always supported me, even if I didn't think I could handle it. He was always there." Jack watched as her eyes filled with tears, yet none fell as she fought them back. He decided to share a bit about himself to give her some time.

"Charlie just graduated high school last year and is going to college at Yale. For some reason he wants to be a lawyer. Go figure. Maybe he just wants to be able to talk circles around me. He was just home for spring break and we went on a fishing trip at the cabin. He has a girlfriend, they met the first day there. She's taking the same classes so..." He glanced over at Sam and found her silently crying. She was watching him, her gaze resting on his hands. He had been crossing and uncrossing his fingers and when he stopped, her eyes raced back to his.

"She was right. You have the same eyes, the same face, same hands. Yet, you're not him and I can't bring him back. I can't even go back to my world because it doesn't even exist anymore. How did she ever find the strength to fight, to go on?" Sam continued after a few seconds, "He had a scar dissecting his left eybrow and he didn't talk much. Even when he had something to say, he rarely did. He told me it was because he didn't want to say something he shouldn't. He got used to our field talk, as he called it. He always goaded the enemy to protect us. He could always make me laugh, but he also made me so mad sometimes."

"I've been told I don't have much of a sense of self preservation. No bravado either."

"Someone once told Jack that as well. Of course he _was_ a bit bent out of shape and annoyed with the Russians." Jack raised a finger, Sam shrugged. "We lost our Stargate at the bottom of the ocean and when the Russians found it they decided to start their own program. However a few weeks in they had a... mishap. Considering they weren't even supposed to know about the Stargate, the fact that they were so blase about the situation and condesending about needed our help, well... it didn't make for a very tactful Jack."

"Me, tactful? Really, I don't think I like this guy much." Sam smiled at that. "I recall your father was a General in the Air Force and you had a brother right?"

"Yeah, my mom died when I was in high school and my brother and I had a falling out. We made up later and we still keep in touch... well, we did." Sam paused a moment and Jack waited while she reigned in the tears once more. He couldn't help but admire her restraint. "My father ended up joining the SGC in a way. He had lymphoma and in order to save his life, he volunteered to be a host to a Tok'ra. You see, there are two types of Goa'uld. One that takes control of a host and uses them to gain power and wage war. The other are called Tok'ra and they only take hosts who are willing to help them. During one of our visits off-world, we encountered a world that were being attacked by the Goa'uld and while I was helping one of them, I was taken by a Tok'ra in desperation. Turned out there was an assasin after her and when he found me, she gave her life to save me. In the process, I absorbed most of her memories and although I only got flashes here and there, I found out that she was really a Tok'ra instead of a Goa'uld. When we went to the Tok'ra base, they offered us an alliance only if we could provide them with hosts as that was all they were willing to accept from us. My dad became a liason between us and the Tok'ra until there secrecy and our need for information disbanded the alliance for a while. He did die later. Selmak, the Tok'ra started dying and instead of letting him go, my dad refused. We were in the middle of a war with these advanced techno bugs and Dad was convinced we needed Selmaks help, which we did. However that meant that Dad died with Selmak. It was then that Jack and I decided that we had waited long enough and didn't want to be apart anymore. My father was actually the one who talked me into not giving up on us. He knew that I wouldn't be truly happy with anyone else and told me that I could still have everything I wanted. I regret that he died believing I was going to marry someone else."

"Someone else?" Jack was confused, she hadn't mentioned a boyfriend anytime during their conversation. He wondered if the reason was because she didn't think he would approve.

Sam looked at him askance, "I started seeing a friend of my brother's and after a year or so, he proposed. I wasn't even sure I was going to say yes, but Jack came to see me in my lab one day. He wanted to know what was going on and... I told him. When I asked him where he thought he would be if things were different, he said "I wouldn't be here." I thought he meant if Charlie had lived. So when Pete helped me find Daniel I thought it could work. He knew some of what I did and he understood when I couldn't come home for days or even weeks at a time. I didn't realize until later that I wanted it that way. Because when I was at home, I wasn't at the base. When I had to be at the base for days at a time I didn't even think about Pete. I couldn't say the same when it was the other way around. When he showed me the house he had bought for us to live in after the wedding, I couldn't see us living there. That was when my dad collapsed and he told me that he was going to die. In one week we had defeated the Replicators, lost Daniel, my dad died, I broke up with Pete, the Goa'uld Anubis was gone, Daniel came back and Jack and I talked seriously for the first time about becoming an us!"

"Well, that definately beats the time I had to clean out the garage all by myself! Do you regret any of it? Your dad, Pete?" Jack questioned seriously.

Sam didn't have to think about because she had already been asked that question and having asked it herself, she knew that there was no regret for either of them. "No, we have no regrets. We had years of protecting each other and fighting together. We discovered that we could have a relationship that wasn't governed by the military and we've been through the worse and best times of our lives. We lived. I've been in love with him and he with me for seven years. We haven't always been in the same galaxy, not to mention the same state for that much of the past year, but he has always been the voice in my ear. When I doubted myself, he knew what to do, what to say, to make me feel like anything was possible. He knew I loved him. I love him. Always." With that last word, she brought the ring she'd been twirling with her fingers up to the light and read the inscription it held. When she held it out to him, he found the metal warm and the middle slightly worn. He passed the ring back to her and moved to sit beside her on the bed. Laying her head on his shoulder felt like coming home to her. So familiar despite the reality. When he put his arm around her, it became to much. She wrapped one arm around his back and the other around his neck and cried. She felt his arms surround her and it made her cry harder, longing for the man she was afraid she would never see again. Once she had cried herself to sleep, Jack laid her out on the bed and tracing her features with his fingers, said good bye.

\\\\\\\

Walking out the door and winding his way towards his own quarters, Jack tried to process all he'd been told. He didn't understand some of what she was talking about, but he knew asking questions wasn't what she needed. Half the time he didn't think she was even talking to him, but to the other him. He was going to see if he could get copies of the interviews. Maybe he could then quiet the nagging feeling that he missed out on something infinitely special. He couldn't regret having his son, but he had the feeling that if given the chance, he would like to have had the chance to know the Samantha Carter of his reality. Barring that, the best he could do was get to know the people who had apparently pulled him from the pit and dragged him into life again. He wouldn't be talking to any of them anymore after tomorrow though. Never again to Sam at all. He was only going to stop by and inform Daniel that he had done as requested.

\\\\\\\

Sam woke up to sore, puffy eyes and an empty room the next morning. By the time Daniel came by for a visit that afternoon, she was again the stoic, professional soldier she was trained to be. He didn't mention Jack's visit that morning, but could tell that Sam felt a little better. They talked about the questions they were being asked and reminisced about some of the more tame planets they had visited. By the time Cam came around Daniel was ribbing Sam about the time they got infected with the Boca virus and Jack had beat Daniel up for showing a little concern.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Lives They Didn't Live

**Rating:** PG 13

**Author: ** Y3lhsa

**Summary:** Jack learns more about the strangers who landed in his lap.

**Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Chapter 2

Hank looked over at Jack as he walked in, and then turned back to the screen.

"What is so important about these people that I had to come all the way up here... again Hank?"

Hank waved at the screen and replied, "I know you wanted to be kept apprised of the goings on Jack. I thought you might want to see this. It was recorded a few hours ago and although they are no longer here, I felt you should see this. I'll let you have some privacy. When you've finished, just turn it off. You can have the tape and it's the only one so don't worry about anyone else seeing it."

Jack looked confused as Hank walked out of the room, and then watched as Daniel and Sam settled onto the bed in her quarters. The sound was on but there wasn't any talking from Sam and Daniel for awhile. Finally Daniel started talking.

"Sam, it's ok to grieve."

"How did you do it Daniel? I feel... empty, so empty. It hurts so much. All those years under the same command, him in Washington, me in Atlantis. I don't know how to exist without him. I can still feel his arms around me, his voice in my ear. We should be at the cabin right now. We should be celebrating the demise of the last of the system lords, drinking beer and fishing. Nothing to do but enjoy being in the same galaxy! This is so wrong, all these years. The other me from the alternate reality told me that having Jack there made it a little easier, but this Jack..." Sam words died out as Daniel pulled her to his side and she folded into him shaking with silent tears.

He waited until she stopped shaking to continue, "When Share first went missing, I couldn't think about her without feeling helpless. All I could think about was finding her, getting to her before the goa'uld hurt her. When she died, I was relieved that she wouldn't have to suffer anymore, but I also thought about all the years we missed out on. That year I spent on Abydos was special and as much as I will always treasure that year we had, I am glad she didn't have to live with the memories of what Amonet made her do. Jack told me once that he never regretted falling in love with you, ever. He said it gave him the courage to keep doing what we did. Because he knew that what we were fighting for was about giving everyone the chance to have that. To be able to go to work, fall in love, play with their kids."

\\\\\\\

_Jack paused the recording. He remembered the first time he met Samantha Carter. Out on the ice thinking he was talking to a ghost. The rest of the trip was still weighing on his mind three weeks later and he was so distracted, Sara thought he was seeing someone. So did Charlie for that matter. Of course he couldn't tell them the truth, but he also couldn't get this woman out of his mind. He dreamed about her and wondered how she was doing. There was a pull that he could rationalize away. Not with everything they had told them. The ring the navy had found at the bottom of the Antarctic, the weapons platform. The amount of information was extraordinary in itself and that they were here in any capacity was too bizarre._

\\\\\\\\

"He kept in touch with Sara." Daniel looked at Sam surprised.

"Really, recently?"

"She would call a couple times a year, mostly around Charlie's birthday. When he told her about us she came to visit me when I got back from Nevada. Jack had left the day before and she said she just wanted to talk, get to know me. She remembered me from the hospital when Jack was replaced by the crystal entity. Jack was allowed to tell her a bit about the Stargate program so she knew we were doing something in the mountain and that it was dangerous. It was why she kept in touch with him. She said she was glad that there was someone who understood all of him, the man and the soldier. He didn't mention us often but she could tell he thought of us as family now. She was happy for him. That there was something for him to fight for, to live for. He told her about our time on the ice planet. The memory stamp? He didn't mention me at all, just you and Teal'c. She said that was when she realized there was someone else. Having to rein all that back in was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. It took a long time for us to feel comfortable around each other again. Then you died and I couldn't talk to him about it. As far as he was concerned you had moved on to a better place and we shouldn't grieve. I was so angry with him then. He wanted to go on like nothing had happened, like there wasn't a piece of us missing!"

"Sam, you know that's how he is. When I came back from Abydos he told me that although he knew he would never forgive himself for what happened to Charlie, he also knew that he would never go back to where he was when we first met. He respected my decision and I don't think he really believed I would be gone forever, which he was right about actually. He never gave up. When he was captured by Baal, he never thought for a minute that you and Teal'c wouldn't find a way to get him out. There I was trying to get him to ascend and he stubbornly refused to accept that there wasn't some other way out. Your replicator duplicate helped me remember that. Teal'c told me about him and Maybourne being lost on that moon. I'm sorry you had to go through that again. You should have seen him when you got marooned on the Prometheus. No one wanted to talk to him for fear he would snap. Teal'c talked to him after a couple days and he didn't snap anymore, but he just didn't talk to anyone."

"When he went missing with Maybourne I lost it. I shouldn't have let Maybourne get to my weapon. I couldn't believe that I was going to lose him after just losing you. All that time and he was on the moon. He was so close and I never realized it."

\\\\\\\

_Jack remembered that name. When she had woken up from her nightmare, she mentioned that Maybourne had him and she couldn't find him. That must have been what had happened. He wondered just how many times he had gone missing._

\\\\\\\

"I never told you, but when I was lost in the nebulous cloud... I started hallucinating. Like the Wizard of Oz. You were there and he was there and Teal'c was there. So was my Dad. I realize now that I was trying to convince myself that Jack and I could work something out. At the time all I did was convince myself I needed to move on, hence Pete." She grew quite for a moment, then continued. "I never told Janet about him, did you know that?" she glanced at Daniel out the corner of her eye and saw him start.

"No," he drawled. "I didn't. I understand why you didn't though. A few days after Martouf's death she and Teal'c cornered me and told me about what was said during the zatarc retest." He paused, turning to look at Sam. "It never mattered to me you know. You guys had already proven yourselves capable of being able to work through your differences. We were already so close by then, we seemed to be psychic. Well there were a few hiccups here and there." Daniel laughed. "Every time we got leave, he and I would bet on whether or not you would go fishing with him or stay on base and fiddle with your bike. Of course he knew you would say no and yet every single time he would bet the opposite. I won a lot of money off him that way I tell you."

"He came to me just after my father died and asked if I wanted to have dinner. I didn't know that Kerry had broken up with him and I was embarrassed that I just showed up at his door with her already there. So... I said no and he told me right then that he was being promoted and was leaving for Washington in a few weeks. He didn't want to leave without continuing our discussion. It was so easy Daniel, so comfortable and right. I was happy, really happy. Even when the Ori showed up, every time we were together, nothing else mattered. I just want him back. None of this feels real, it feels like a nightmare. Like the goa'uld or the replicators have me in a virtual reality and you guys are going to bust me out any time." Her eyes filled with tears again as she looked at Daniel, "But this is all real and I don't know how I'm going to live without him."

"One day at a time Sam, just wake up every morning. Get up, make breakfast, run errands, build a stargate out of spare toaster parts." Sam laughed outright at that.

"Oh my god, I still don't know how Orlin did that. I never understood what these guys ever saw in me. None of them really even knew me. Narim thought I was an angel and Martouf just missed Jolinar. I know he said he cared for me too. Lantesh said the same but neither of them really knew me. The real me. When I told Pete that my boyfriends had a habit of dying, he really thought I was kidding."

"You actually said that?" Daniel butts in.

"Of course I did, it's true. The only ones who have managed to remain alive have been Pete and Jack. And really, I still managed to break Pete's heart. I swear I'm cursed Daniel. Only Jack seems to be immune." Sam paused, stricken. "I guess not though. He is dead. I'm not sure that counts now that he's alive again." She looked at Daniel as if seeking reassurance.

"You're not cursed Sam and if you are then so am I. Hell I fell for the Destroyer of Worlds! Considering the sheer amount of people we come into contact with, it's a miracle any of us are alive to even be infatuated with. Ok, Teal'c shouldn't be left out either, what with Drey'ac and Shan'auc. Of course Ishta helps. I think Jack turned out better than all of us. Sara, Laira, Kenthia... Kerry, you... Yeah. Better luck than all of us." Daniel grinned at Sam looking quite smug.

Sam started laughing, holding her side as she kept giggling. "Oh, you forgot the woman on Land of Light! As far as we know, she's still alive."

"I'm not sure that counts, I don't even remember it. I do remember getting beat up for wanting to visit you in the infirmary though. Of course, how many alternate realities are you and Jack engaged or married in? We can't leave those out. We have the first one I went to, then there was that time Dr. Carter came through the mirror in Area 51. Of course both of those were attacked by the Goa'uld but then we had all those that came through with SG-EVIL! Even she was married to Jack. We were so busy with the Ori I didn't even consider this. I can't believe neither of you have told me this before. I know you did a survey Sam; you wouldn't be you if you didn't. So... what was the final tally? Come on, spill." Daniel wiggled his eyebrows.

"This is the reason he forbade me to tell you. He did, he actually gave dire consequences should you ever find out." Sam glared at him shaking her head.

"It's not like he's going to find out Sam. Even if we fix this, we won't remember having this conversation much less him finding out."

"Oh alright. There were sixteen teams and four of them didn't have any of the original members. That left eleven that had me on it and that one with you, Janet and Martouf. Of the four new teams, all of them had us as the original team, however two of their Samantha's died with Jolinar and the other two did eventually marry Jack. Out of the eleven teams with me on them, including SG-EVIL (You know better than to let Cam name anything), nine of them were either engaged, married, or dating Jack. The other two didn't even know who Jack was; he had died on the first mission to Abydos. With those two, you still stayed on Abydos and actually never came back with us the second time. Share wasn't kidnapped; she had gone with us to see the glyphs. Janet told me that her Samantha had married Jack five years earlier because I didn't join the Air Force and was never made a member of SG-1. McKay was!" Daniel's eyebrows shot up at that revelation. "I know. I would love to be able to hang that over his head. So, out of nineteen realities including the previous two... that is a total of fourteen realities in which Jack and I are together in one form or another." Sam grinned at the shock on Daniel's face. She had the same reaction when she discovered just how many realities included them together.

"I would feel so much better if I could tease Jack with this, but I guess this time the knowledge will have to be enough."

"We had fun didn't we? You remember the look on Katano's face when I severed that log in half? I thought he was going to throw up then and there. Jack told me later that he wanted to show me off just as much as the P-90's that day."

"What! Coming from anyone else that would sound chauvinistic."

"He had noticed that none of the women there trained. All they did was cook and look after the fighters. I never suspected that was part of the reason, he always had me do that kind of stuff. The same as you always talked to the natives."

"I loved it when you bit his hand. That was so the highlight of that mission." Daniel winked.

"No, you living through that mission was the highlight Daniel." Sam replied sternly. "The first of many close calls with you. I swear Teal'c and I had a standing order. Anytime we were left alone with you, we were supposed to leave one eye strictly on you and the other on whatever we needed to be doing."

"Yeah, well, Teal'c and I had the same standing order with you! As well as with Jack. I remembered something else from when I was ascended. Really, RepliCarter helped me uncover allot of buried memories." He glanced at Sam out the corner of his eye. Seeing he had her attention, he continued. "I remember you lying on a cot with Jack sitting next to you. Teal'c was in the cage adjacent to you and surrounding you guys were people. They didn't look right though. They looked wrong. I don't remember Jonas there, but I do remember seeing you sit up and Jack ordering you to get some rest." He could see recognition on her face and hurried to finish. "You gave Teal'c this look, I don't know what it meant but he turned around and you leaned your head against Jack's shoulder. Just for a second. I remember thinking how lucky you guys were. There you were in the middle of all this heat and death and that you could find some comfort in all that... you never knew how that made all the torture and waiting and dying worth it. One of the things that made losing Share a little easier was knowing that when all the fighting was over, we would still be here. You and Jack, Teal'c and Ishta, Rya'c having the chance to grow up free and marry someone he loved and respected. I found comfort in that."

"So did I. I'm so proud of all of it. All of the times we've been kidnapped, lost, tortured... every death. Freeing the galaxy from the Goa'uld and helping the Asgaard destroy the Replicators has made the sacrifice easier. I just hope that one day, all we did will right itself. That none of it will have been in vain. It's a standing order that as soon as the Stargate is made public, all the men and women who have died will have their names on a wall outside the front gate of the mountain. Jack told me that whoever is head of the SGC is going to do it. Cassandra's home planet, the Tok'ra and the Jaffa will be on there also." They fell quite and after awhile stood up and got into their beds.

\\\\\\\

_Jack let the tape play thinking how lucky he was. He had his son, a great career and he didn't have to deal with all this anymore. Watching Samantha Carter sleep however, he couldn't help but think how much better this world could be if everything they said was true about the changed timeline. He read the report. Every mission. Every ally they made, every world they freed. It seemed impossible but for as "Who me?" he liked to portray, he did know a little something about Einstein, Newton and what they said happened could in all likelihood have happened. Considering two of them shouldn't even exist and one has a twin out there with the same identity he couldn't deny the reality of this. As much as he enjoyed his life as it is, he knows that if they get the chance to correct this, he hopes they do. The cost is too high when considering the bigger picture consists of two entire galaxies. Instead of destroying the tape, Jack O'Neill slips it into his side pocket and leaves the room vowing to spend as much time with his son as he possible can._

\\\\\\\


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Lives They Didn't Live

**Rating:** PG 13

**Author: ** Y3lhsa

**Summary:** Sam's life in the new world comes with surprises.

**Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

**Author's Note:** This is very short and I apologize for that, however I wanted to put something of what I have up and see what you guys think, so please review and provide some concrit?

Chapter 3

You would think living like this would get somewhat easier after awhile. She didn't make friends because, well, how can you have a conversation with someone when nothing you say is the truth? She didn't have the energy to lie and really she just didn't care to. There was no one she was interested in getting to know anyway.

She went to work, she came home. She paid her bills, she ate, she survived. That was all she knew how to do. She didn't look at a calendar. She didn't want to know how long she had been living like this. It wasn't important. She knew this wouldn't last, that one day she would fix this and none of it would make a difference.

She ate fruit loops and worked the crossword puzzle every week. She slept in the middle of the bed because she couldn't bear looking at the expanse when she stayed on her side. After a couple months she even started watching reruns of the Simpson's and history documentaries on Egypt. She couldn't watch sci-fi, it reminded her too much of everything that was wrong with this reality. Instead she watched all the primetime drama she had missed out on the last decade or so.

She liked Grey's Anatomy best because of the characters. She bought all the previous seasons and watched them over and over again. Watching the drama and outrageousness made her forget for a time that she didn't have any family or friends anymore. She rooted for Meredith and Derek and disliked Burke with a passion. She cheered when he left and cried when Derek started dating Rose. Meredith and Cristina's friendship reminded her of Teal'c; of his steadfastness and strength. She didn't think Erica was good enough for Callie and was grateful when she left. She fell a little in love with Mark and loved it when Callie got together with Arizona.

If she sometimes cried herself to sleep, she told herself that nothing lasted forever and she'd been through worse. Most of the time she didn't believe it but every once in a while… it helped.

She thought of Daniel, Teal'c and Jack often. Every time she saw long curly blonde hair, she thought of Cassandra. She thought about what her life might be like now. She probably grew up happy, married, had children and never knew that she was loved by a stranger thousands of light years away.

She often wondered how different the universe was now. Intellectually she knew that without them out there, the worlds they freed from enslavement would still be under goa'uld control. She knew Baal would have followed through on his promises for Teal'c and Vala. She wondered about the Tok'ra. If they still existed, were they fighting the goa'uld with their slow, methodical subterfuge? Had Jolinar been found by the ashrak and killed? Was the traitor found before most of the Tok'ra were killed?

She found Mark in the same city she left him in. She missed him and her niece and nephew. She missed Janet more. She had been missing Janet for a long time but knowing that she was alive and yet so out of reach made the hole she left more acute than before. She drove most of the way to her office before turning around and driving the 300 miles back home. She knew she would never be able to see her and not break. She wouldn't make through another day in this facade of a life she was living.

Six months after losing Jack, her life and everything she knew, Sam ran into two people she never considered meeting in any lifetime. Literally running into them and knocking the younger down when turning a blind corner on the first out of town trip she had worked up the courage to make.


End file.
